Saturday, April 21, 2018

Birthday week...

I had a birthday this week.  And I don't feel as old as I am.

Well, that's not completely true.  Sometimes my body feels every single day of my now 59 years, but my heart doesn't quite comprehend that I've been here on this earth for nearly six decades now.

In my heart, I feel young.  Sometimes the little girl in me enjoys kicking autumn leaves, or enjoys the splatter of spring rain on my face (except that now the rain drops mess up my glasses and that's not so much fun).  Sometimes I'm tempted to lay on my stomach and read a book, but then I'm reminded that my back will ache, or a muscle may spasm when I try to get up.  And then there are those moments when I get up from a seated position, and my hips catch as I carefully unfold myself.   And way too may times I hear myself groan as I stand and straighten up after relaxing all comfy snug in a big recliner chair.

But even on hard or very practical days, my heart has me feeling like I'm still a young woman.  Even though I wear a crown of gray, and my crows feet crinkle when I smile, and my dry eyes sometimes turn red and are not so pretty, the image I have of myself (the person behind my eyes) is younger than the one I see in the mirror.  I suspect that's the way it is for all of us.  Funny how this is.  I consider it one of life's great blessings that we don't necessarily see ourselves as the world sees us.  Then again, I'm not sure the world sees us and is startled like we sometimes are when we catch a glimpse of our aging selves in a mirror or window reflection.   And those cameras at self-check out lines.  Ugh.  Recently I was startled (and discouraged) to see my image on the little screen as I was scanning  and bagging my groceries.  Really... why do I need to see my face then?

Anyway... all that aside, embracing my age this year, I announced on my birthday that it was the first day of my 60th year.  I think my husband thought that was a negative way to look at it, but to me it felt empowering.

I'm now marching forward to 60, and feeling very reflective - as I do most years about this time.   But I've decided to own this next year in a way I've really not done before.   I don't know yet what that means.  It would be nice if it meant I worked harder at being healthier, lost some weight, stuff like that.  Stuff that most of us want to have achieved, but most of don't really want to actually DO.

It would be great if it meant growing deeper spiritually.  Complete the challenge I started in January to read through the Bible (the challenge that has already gotten waylaid).  To pray more intentionally, and by that I mean keep track of prayers and answers to prayers.  To claim blessings and gifts as if they were directly given by the hand of God.  James tells us it is so:  "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

It would probably be life-changing if I embraced challenging relationships as refining things in my life rather than as chafing things to endure or avoid.  Ouch.  That one is a really hard one for me. But I suspect I'm the bigger loser because of it.

I could go, but these are things I'm reflecting on lately...

I didn't make any plans for my birthday, but it was such a beautiful spring day (finally!) I decided I needed to get outside and take a walk.  I couldn't manage to stir up anyone to go with me at the last minute, so I enjoyed a quiet solitary walk  on the greenway trail of our town.    By the time I started, the beautiful sunny day was starting to change to a cloudy breezy day so the pictures I got were on the dark side.

It doesn't look very spring-like, does it?  You can't hear the birds chirping, or the low rumble of lawn mowers off in the distance cutting grass for the first time this year.  It was a lovely, quiet walk.  I only passed four other people in the forty minutes it took me to make the circuitous walk through what the city is trying to turn into something of a nature preserve.

Since I had the foresight to take my phone with me, it occurred to me that it might be interesting to take a picture of the same spot over the course of the the year to see how it changes.  I probably should have chosen a more scenic spot, but then again, this little corner should show the changes pretty dramatically.   Though I do think I need to work on the lighting.  Then again, my phone camera isn't all that great if the natural lighting isn't great.

We'll see, I guess.   We'll see if I manage to remember to take my camera in the future.  We'll see if manage to have my phone charged so that I can take a picture (my phone was down to 5% charged when I finished my walk).  And I suppose we'll see if I actually get out to this spot often enough to even do this seasonal photo thing...  It all felt like a grand idea, the day I took this walk.

Whatever the next year holds...  

I'm looking forward to another trip around the sun!

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Small things...

This was a quiet, yet profound, week with the burial service for my father-in-law on Thursday.    While his funeral service over a week ago was lovely, Bernie's burial brings a level of finality that we hadn't been able to experience until now.  While no one would have planned these two services to be separate (weather was in control of that), it actually made for a very personal and deeply meaningful graveside service having it on a separate day.  I hope you'll read the short post I wrote about it yesterday.


While I'm continuing to crochet away on two Spicier Life blankets, they really don't look different enough to post a progress picture.   Maybe next week.

But I did squeeze in two smaller projects.  I'm hosting a CAL this week in the Our Happy CAL Place, and to fit into the theme "Kitchen & Bath" I found a pattern for this cute Turtle Washcloth:

What a fun washcloth for a child, or a kitchen in the woods, or even a potholder - if made doubled.  If doubled, I suggest only doubling the center shell part.  And then joining and finishing the turtle's legs, head and tail with a single layer of crochet.

And then I decided to join in last week's CAL and made a bookmark (using this pattern for the stem):

 Using this pattern, sport weight cotton and a size G hook, the rose turned out crazy big.

But I sort of LOVE it!

To see what other YOPpers are working on, visit our group by clicking on the graphic below.

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Meaningful moments...

I didn't mention this last week, but because we had such terrible, flooding rains the day of my father-in-law's funeral (which was on Tuesday, April 3rd), the actual burial service was held this past week (on Thursday, April 12th).

Unlike the day of the funeral service, this past Thursday turned out to be a beautiful (if extremely windy) spring day.  As a Korean War veteran my father-in-law received military honors at his burial service.  While logistics prevented a 21-gun salute, the playing of Taps and the folding and presentation of the flag that covered his coffin was very moving.  I've been to military funerals before, but have never had such a close-up seat to watch it from.  I couldn't hold back the tears when this young Army chaplain knelt to hand the flag to my mother-in-law.  It was so incredibly moving.

“On behalf of the President of the United States, the United States Army, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s 
honorable and faithful service.”

Even though my father-in-law was 93 when he died, and his service had been many, many years ago, it was touching to see the honor that younger officers paid him and my mother-in-law.  Of course, that is expected, but I couldn't help but wonder and marvel at the "brotherhood" that exists between all who have served in the military, regardless of age and space in time.  While we were small in number at the graveside (compared to the number who attended the funeral service), it was a very personal and memorable service.  Beautiful, in all respects.


Bernie (age 26) at Ft. Monmouth, NJ - 1950

Bernie (age 93) - 2017

'till we meet again, Dad B.
"on that beautiful shore..."

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