I had an honest moment this week. I had been dragging my feet about sewing a lining for a bag I'd crocheted up last fall. This was the last picture I posted (complete with fabric that was to be the lining - fabric that I love, by the way):
Once I found this cute fabric, I committed to finishing the bag. Except that I didn't. Didn't commit or didn't finish? Well, obviously, I didn't finish, but I sure
thought I was committed to doing so. And yet it's nagged at me. For months. I've told myself I'm just procrastinating getting the lining made, but I think I knew better. Don't get me wrong... I can be a world-class procrastinator -even about things I
want to do, but the honest-to-goodness-truth is that I've been ambivalent about the bag. For a long time. Now the fabric for the lining, I
love! And that may have actually made it harder for me to make myself line the bag since I wasn't sure I was going to love the whole thing when I was finished. So I put it off. And told myself I'd do it "someday".
Okay, and the handles nagged at me, too. Part of me wishes I had not crocheted the handles, but rather, found a way to attached other, more durable handles to the bag. The more I thought about it, the more I imagined those handles becoming all stretched out and worn-looking, all the while the pretty lining would haunt me for having relegated it to the inside of a bag that I didn't like all that much to begin with.
And on and on all those negative thoughts nagged at me every time I saw this yet unfinished bag, and I grew more and more apathetic about the whole thing.
And suddenly this week I had a little epiphany. Don't line the bag! Just get over not loving it already, and use it as is until I don't want to use it anymore. Nobody is going to care what I do with this bag, or the fabric I bought to line it with. I don't get bonus points for finishing a project I'm not interested in finishing - not this one, anyway.
I looked around to see if anyone was going to dispute these thoughts, but there wasn't a naysayer to be had.
And just like that, I decided to put the fabric away for some other pretty project, and put the crocheted bag to use already. Even if only for yarn storage.
And as of yesterday the unlined bag holds skeins of yarn I've recently purchased for making a blanket for the living room sofa.
While this isn't like some great accomplishment or anything, I do feel like I had a success here. Normally I'm not too terribly bothered when a project doesn't thrill me or simply isn't quite what I hoped for. I'm no stranger to ripping out and moving on. I don't know why I hung onto this one for so long.
I don't know that it matters whether or not I ever really understand my waffling for so long over this one bag, but once again I've learned that letting go, even changing direction, is every bit as much a part of the creative process as moving forward can be. In fact, the freedom gained from giving up something that is a negative almost always leads to greater creative energy.
And with that freedom and energy I now press on to work on the two blankets I
am fond of (
Kilim and
Arrowhead), and eventually a third one with the yarn above. After months and months of searching for the right blue-green shade for a living room afghan, my eyes just happened to land on this yarn recently (when I wasn't even looking for it) in the I Love This Yarn aisle at Hobby Lobby and I'm so excited about it I can hardly wait to start working with it. But I'm telling myself I need to finish at least one of the other blankets before starting this one.
We'll see if I can keep that resolve as the soft blue-green of this yarn has been calling to me - ever since I found it - did I mention it was on the very bottom shelf? - as if someone had hidden it down there - nearly out of sight. And it was on sale! I think it was fate that we found each other. :^)