Things are pretty bustling here and I'm not finding time to blog much, but I do want to let my blogging buddies know I'm still around. I check into your blogs when I can, and will try to post some more Making Space posts before the whole experiment ends in less than a month for me now.
The reason I haven't posted for a little while now is mostly due to busyness, but to be honest, I've had some struggles emotionally as I'm nearing the time for the closing of my brother's estate. Closing the estate isn't the cause of my emotional struggles, but in going through records to do some final accounting and prep for next tax season, I have experienced some emotional "triggers" I didn't anticipate. And there have been some hard days where the rug has felt pulled out from under me emotionally and even spiritually.
On one hand, I've wanted to write about it here - to be known, to document my process, even to be beneficial for others who have perhaps dealt with loss that comes out of a complicated situation and family dynamic. On the other hand, I've not wanted to inadvertently invite advice or even sympathy that is based on incomplete knowledge - because I don't feel I can share enough for a reader to really understand the situation. I know... that was quite circular. And round and round it goes in my head.
So I don't write much here about my loss and the head- and heart-work of dealing with it. I may some day. Or maybe not. For now I write this as much as a documentation for myself as anything - to record the existence of profound loss and often crushing regret alongside the good of life that is happening. That's the nature of loss. Of grief. Of deep regret even, I'm learning. Good often runs parallel to confusion and chaos. Happiness can be experienced adjacent to profound pain. It occurs to me that this is, perhaps, a small glimpse of a spiritual redemption that I hope to someday see more fully. On that note, I do want to say I've gained great comfort and spiritual insights from others who share their grief journeys in a public way. You know who you are, and I thank you.
So... yes, things are hopping here. It is, perhaps, the hoppingness that helps me handle the hard moments of late. The reason behind the hoppingess will be shared soon enough, but not yet on that either. 😉
So... with all that said, let me share my recent decluttering.
Curious how many of you may have one of these around:
After 41 years, I finally opened up my hermetically-sealed wedding dress.
The blue around the yoke is tissue paper. Someone seeing the picture thought it was fabric, so I thought I should clarify.
While it looks pretty in the picture (and I assume it did in person), my dress was not an heirloom-type dress. It was made of polyester, and I bought it off the clearance rack in 1980. I wanted something pretty, but I wasn't into the idea of spending a crazy amount of money on a dress I would wear exactly once. Always practical - that's me. Even so... in 1980, off the clearance rack, I think it cost a little over $100.00. I probably waffled over spending that much.
Anyway, the dress had at least one dark stain after 41 years of baking in different attics, and the white lace has myellowed to a beautiful shade of cream, but it made using the dress for some other purpose (other than a Halloween costume, perhaps) pretty much out of the question. So I cut the skirt off, and am saving the still-intact bodice for now, and will hopefully remove the lace someday and make something else pretty out of it.
I don't imagine it's the most beautiful of lace patterns, but it feels special since it's mine. It's actually fairly substantial in weight so if I can remove it intact, I may find it has many uses. We'll see!
Also, I saved a long skirt's, and a short train's worth of the lining fabric - I'm thinking it's probably taffeta. Probably polyester, too, but it's a woven fabric - stiff and thick enough to provide some shape to the knitted polyester of the dress. Not sure what it will be good for, but for some reason I felt compelled to save it. 😊
That's all for this week.
Making Space Week 48: 878 things gone!
Comments have been disabled for this post. To anyone who commented and came back to read my response (which I usually leave), I have edited portions of one paragraph above that I think might have been better left unsaid for now. Please trust that all comments were received in the generous spirit they were given, and I have saved them for my personal benefit. Your kind comments are jewels to me. I just rethought the idea of having a comment section on this post. Thank you, kind readers.
