Loss and life...

I've been absent from blogging for a bit so this is a catch up on what has been going on in my corner of the world for the last couple of weeks.  

Two weeks ago my mother-in-law passed from this life after suffering a stroke.

Some may recall we celebrated Marcene's 89th birthday back in early March.

And then a week later she suffered a heart attack.  She had some health issues (who wouldn't at 89?), but no one suspected that her heart was problematic. 

Then, just as she was getting back to some kind of normal after her heart attack,  the whole country (well, actually most of the world) went on lock-down and life hasn't been the same for many of us since.  Marcene was kept safe from COVID over these last three months, but the effects of the social distancing were painful for her.  It's a hard reality - experienced by many people the world over.   Even so...  we were all glad she was in her own home during these first three months of COVID-19 and could manage with the help of her grown children and wonderful neighbors.

But living alone after my father-in-law died two years prior, life had become a struggle for Marcene (both physically and emotionally) and while she is missed dearly, no one would want her to be struggling with her physical ailments and heartache still.   

Last Monday was her funeral.  A beautiful day in all respects.  In this time of COVID the family decided to have a small private funeral (about 20 persons) and it was perhaps more sweet for it.  Afterwards we enjoyed a casual catered meal at my brother-in-law's.

Marcene lived what appears on the surface to be a fairly quiet life of service and hospitality.  But I've come to realize in recent years, I don't know the half of what all made up Marcene's personhood.  For example, only in her later years did I come to realize what a social creature she was.  And how much she seemed to love a gathering.  While we always wished (and begged) her to sit down and enjoy the "party", all of that only seemed to make her more determined to busily tend to it.  Knowing more now, I wonder now how much anxiety may have played a role in that.  We just never know the whole story, do we?  People are all multi-faceted, complicated creatures.

Marcene graduated from high school in 1949, and then nursing school.  At 21 she married her sweetheart, Bernie (who was almost 28) and soon they were blessed with children.  

Picture of my husband as an infant with Marcene (age 23) and Bernie (age 30).

Marcene with her first-born (my hubs) in South Dakota

In 1957 the family relocated from Rapid City, South Dakota to Indianapolis, Indiana where Bernie (an Electrical Engineer) took a job with Western Electric.  Soon they became a family of five: 

Come on, somebody say Cheese!

Marcene always found ways to serve in her community and church.  She was a Maker before being a Maker was a thing.  She sewed many things - clothing and household items among them.  And before macular degeneration made sewing too difficult in her later years, she made many quilts (with her quilting guild, and personally - as gifts).  And she made lovely banners that decorated her church.  

At her funeral, and in e-mails and cards we're still receiving, everyone seems to comment on a blanket or quilt they were given that Marcene had made.  One day someone stopped by her house when SIL and I were working in the garage.  And in expressing her condolences, this woman mentioned that her now grown police officer son enjoyed the blanket Marcene gave him as a child.  Marcene's blankets and quilts are legendary!

Marcene and Bernie were collectors of invalid feeders and Horatio Alger books.  They enjoyed going to conventions where they mingled with other collectors.  When Bernie retired, he took a temporary job in Singapore and they lived there for nearly a year - forming friendships that continued to the very end of Marcene's life.  She was still attending luncheons with these folks before COVID.  The pair enjoyed square dancing in their younger years and going to watch live theater as they grew older.  Bernie and Marcene were quiet about their faith, but they were strong Christians, often letting us know they were praying for us (and others).  They both lived long, full, and purpose-filled lives.

~~~~~

Most days over the last two weeks one or both of us (hubs and I) have been working with his siblings at their mother's house, beginning the huge task of clearing out a lifetime of accumulations.  It's going to take some time - probably months. 

Hub and I have worked hard over the last week knowing we'll be less available for a while after he has knee surgery.  Yep!  That's coming up soon and will be here and over with before we know it!  

Tired from all the recent activity and labor, I'm (sort of) looking forward to being at home again for a few weeks, making home cooked meals again, and maybe getting back to some crafting.  My craft room has been so quiet the last few weeks, I'm finding myself needing a push to get back in there and work on something.  My crafting mojo has entirely flown the coop.

Some might enjoy knowing this: A lilac colored blanket I made for Marcene three or four years ago when she had to go into a nursing home for rehab after back surgery is now in my possession again.  The blanket later comforted my father-in-law while he had a short stay in a nursing home, just before he died two years ago. The blanket then went back to Marcene's house where she enjoyed it some more, and it has now come back to rest here in my home.  I've been snuggling under it when I've come home tired after a long day of working at Marcene's.  

I've grown very contemplative over many things in these two weeks -  among the things I've been thinking about anew is the many ways we bless others with the work of our hands.  

Often in ways we'll never fully realize in this life...

The picture above doesn't fit in anywhere, but I love it.  I'm thinking it's from the mid-1980's.  I love everything about it.  Bernie looking sharp, but casual.  His relaxed personality coming through.  Marcene casual, but perfectly coiffed and sporting a beautiful leather purse and carrying a blazer.  It seems she always wore a blazer or had one with her.   I also love the old building in the background, and what appears to be a rusty car on the other side of the fence (or maybe it's a rusty pole on the fence).  I love the colors.

Or maybe I just love the picture because 

I can imagine Bernie and Marcy together again in heaven.  

No more pain or loneliness 

or worries of this world are theirs. 

~~~~~