Quiet moments...

We kept the grand cats last weekend and were easily humored watching them do nothing much at all. 

On Tuesday, the day the cats left we enjoyed the company of out-of-state cousins visiting until the wee hours of the next morning.  After the cats and cousins left (separately, in two different directions) I was inspired to do some spring cleaning of the sunroom - vacuuming up cobwebs and cat hair.

And set up a spot to enjoy cross stitching and a view of the outdoors.

I'm going to make it a (loose) goal to spend some time out here stitching or doing something creative every day I can this spring -  when it is nice enough to do so.  With the sun shining in the windows, it's comfy out here once it's in the high 50's outside.  And I suppose a space heater might heat up this corner when it's cooler than that. 

And in a week or so, this Bradford Pear (below with the small white blossoms) will be a sight to behold when I want to sit back and take a stretch from stitching.

I'm feeling very thankful for spring, 

and for a pretty spot to experience it again.

How is spring looking where you're at?

Sunlight and shadow play...

 

I was sitting in the chair pictured above and just happened to turn my head when I noticed this terrific striated pattern of light and dark bands produced by the partially opened blinds as the sun had lowered to the exact position to create this fun shadow play on the wall and lamp.  I couldn't couldn't find my camera fast enough!

Seeing in the picture that the bands bend around the corner on the wall is bonus fun. 

Trimming and pruning...

We're seeing a lot more of middle son since he took a job nearer to us last autumn.  A few times a month he spends a night here and we're enjoying seeing him more.  When weather has allowed, he has seemed to enjoy helping with some outside work.  And we are grateful for his help.

Yesterday he pruned our cherry tree and our peach tree.  I used several youtube video tutorials to help me guide him where to cut.

I'm guessing these trees hadn't been trimmed properly in at least a couple of years (we didn't prune last spring, I know that much).  I'm not saying we pruned them properly yesterday, but we've tried to get the growth lower so fruit will be at a pickable height.  It will be interesting to see if our mild winter has an effect on how (or if) these fruit trees produce fruit.  

The old dying tree (below) has been taken down over the course of several of son's visits due to not having quite as big of a chain saw as he needed.

Sometime this winter:

Yesterday:

Until a bigger chain saw can be had, we're left with this:

I spent about a minute toying with the idea of using this as a spot for a planter (or planters).  The thing is, it would be pretty inconvenient.  It's behind a separate garage and would require dragging a hose back more often than I'd care to in order to keep planters adequately watered.  On the other hand, once we get a garden going, we'll probably have a garden hose strung across the yard for most of the summer, and it would be a fairly simple job to unscrew the sprinkler from the hose.  Knowing me, I'll probably do nothing, but watch this spot in case I come up with something clever.  Feel free to share any ideas you might have.

And behind the garage is this scene:

I'm trying to make leaf mold in the pallet "bin" on the left.  All the stacked wood will make some nice fires in the firepit this spring, and next fall.  And lastly, there is a plastic compost bin the previous owners left.  I'm not crazy about it, because it's impossible to turn what is inside.  It's bottomless, though, so I can pick it up and move it and that allows for some compost to be turned, but then it's just an open pile.  Maybe I just don't understand how these types of bins are supposed to work, but I consider it a pretty inconvenient way to compost.  On the other hand, once we're harvesting from the garden and creating a fair amount of vegetable waste, it's nice to have a place to put the waste where it stands some kind of chance to decompose.

After a draggy-kind of winter, it feels like there's suddenly lots going on here.   PT is going well, knee is slowly improving, but improving nonetheless!   A unplanned doctor's visit (for yet another thing) needed to be scheduled for the day after tomorrow.  Hopefully, it's nothing of serious concern, and I can soon put it out of my mind.  Seeds are begging to be planted, and I'm chomping at the bit to feel like doing it.  The spirit is willing; the knee, and I think my hand needs just need a bit more healing.  I'm hoping and praying that everything comes together at the right time.  And if it doesn't, that I'm content with what can be done.

Happy Spring!

~~~~~

Discarded or set free...

 Scrolling through YouTube shorts recently I came across this short video:

It's just 45 seconds long so not a big investment of your time, but I'd love for you to watch it and comment below after reading my thoughts.   I'm not particularly enthralled with what was created by this gal, but then again we don't get to see the ultimate finished garment.  What I am fascinated with, though, is the idea of taking individual pieces that someone else created and making something brand new out of them.

But the inspiration for this post was that I found myself surprised and a bit disappointed at the number of comments that expressed sadness that hand-made items were donated to a thrift store.  "Discarded" as if no one loved the items enough to keep them and use or display them.

To be honest, when I was younger and before I got back into crocheting, knitting, and cross stitching I may have felt similarly.  On the other hand, I know in my younger adult years I also donated things I had spent hours making when I no longer wanted them.  Some I kind of regret not having now, but that's not the point of this post.  

I'm pretty sure that today, with full knowledge of the time invested in hand-making items, I always find it kind of wonderful to see handmade things sometimes making their way into a thrift store or a garage sale or a flea market.  I don't think of them as being discarded, but rather set free for someone else to love them, to maybe display or remake them.

I actually have a small box that contains things I've made with the hope and intent that someone will discover it one day when I pass.  I sometimes use the items, but there are a few things in there that I'm pretty sure I won't ever use.  I might donate some of the items myself if there become too many to save, but for now I take pleasure in the thought that someday someone else may be tickled to uncover these things.   I'm thinking of putting a note in the box saying something like "Take and use as you wish, or feel free to donate" - just to alleviate any sense of guilt someone might feel about "setting them free".  Or maybe I should just verbally tell my kids now that after my passing, family should feel totally free to do whatever they want with any of the items I've made over the years - preferably donate rather than throw away items no one wants.   I was thrilled when after Hub's mother died in 2020 to be encouraged to go through a bag of crocheted doilies and such things that his grandmother had made many decades ago, and I also brought home some unfinished items my mother-in-law had begun, with the thought that I might finish them someday.  But if I don't, I'll eventually donate them and "set them free". 

Many readers here are (or have been) creators of various hand-made items.  You may be an artist, a seamstress, a woodworker, a crafter...   Whatever you call yourself, you know what I'm talking about.  You have creations in your home that you've invested hours in making.  How do you feel about the idea of those things eventually ending up in a resale shop?  

And regardless of whether you're a maker or not, how do you feel when you see something hand-made being sold for relatively little, knowing the time that went into making the thing? 

Another related question is... Do you struggle donating an item that was hand-made by a loved one, even if you don't want to keep it?

Any other thoughts on the topic are welcome, too!

Current knee diagnosis...

I really thought I was going to get in here sooner to report on my doctor's appointment last Friday, because after the appointment I felt pretty good about things.  For example, according to the x-ray I only have mild knee arthritis (and it would not be causing this kind of pain), and my overall leg strength is good I'm told.  And the best part - the doctor believes physical therapy will resolve this present issue.  

It all seemed like such good news that I didn't complain when the doctor said he didn't want to give me a cortisone shot.  I hadn't even asked for one yet when he told me this.  I'm not sure I had a choice in the matter, but with all the good news I wasn't too troubled about him not offering it.  But when the pain flared up again later that evening, and by that time I knew a PT consultation was going to be a week and a half away, I started to feel frustrated and resentful that all he suggested for pain relief was Ibuprofen or Aleve.  They don't even take the edge off when the pain is really bad.  I've mostly stopped taking anything altogether, it's that unhelpful.

I'm not a big medicine taker, but I've been frustrated several times now (after two surgeries last year and now this) when I've been in serious pain and all that is offered is less than effective doses of prescription and OTC pain medicine.  I just don't understand how some people who are looking for a "fix" can seemingly easily get their hands on pain medicine through illicit means, and someone who is honest, and experiencing real and terrible pain, can't get the medicine that might help them endure more easily.  It's maddening to me.  It's depressing and discouraging.

Insert deep sigh of exasperation here.

Having gotten that off my chest, I guess I'm coping okay.  Discouraged and depressed at times, but okay I guess.  Do I have a choice?

The diagnosis I was given by the doctor is patellofemoral pain syndrome.  It's actually pretty common I now understand and PT should help resolve it.  Having gone online to find advice on how to cope with the pain and help it heal (since I'm left to my own devices until PT can begin), I'm now thinking there is another possible issue that may be causing my pain.  The good news is PT should still help if my issue is something different from what the doctor diagnosed, or if I have more than one thing going on (which is entirely possible, and maybe probable).  

Edited later to add:  At my first PT consultation I was also diagnosed with pez anserine bursitis.  I know, it's a funny name, and if you look it up and see what it means (and why it got its name) you'll think it's even funnier.   Before PT, as I was looking through videos for exercises to help what the doctor  told me I was dealing with, I found this condition and thought it better described my pain than the doctor's diagnosis did.  The good news is PT should help it, and will hopefully help me not get this aggravating condition again, or have the tools to get better if it does flare up again.

So I'm prescribed 6 weeks of PT (to begin 4 weeks into my present struggle), and if that doesn't resolve the pain, there will be next steps.  While I've grown frustrated with the medical establishment (for reasons beyond not getting adequate pain relief), I do encourage anyone who's like me - someone who puts off getting something like this checked out - to get it checked out.  The thing that hurts might just be fixable.  I've dealt with this knee for over a year now, and after I've read how these kinds of issues can end up creating chronic problems, I do wish I hadn't put off seeking help for so long.  Therapy is going to be a bit of a drag, but I'm hanging onto hope that soon I'll be headed in a direction that will provide more lasting relief than I can get on my own.

Pain aside, I had some nice distractions in the days following my doctor's appointment.  Last weekend held a birthday celebration for middle son (which saw me limping, but very happy to have everyone together), and Monday I actually felt good enough to drive a bit of a distance to visit a friend. I'm so glad I did.  It was a beautiful day to sit out on her deck and take in the view of the woods behind her house.  The scenery and the laughter shared over anything and everything was very good medicine.  Then over the rest of this week, the pain has been off and on, sometimes causing me to sit with my legs up, interspersed with periods of activity like cooking and laundry mostly.  This whole experience has been up and down, both physically and emotionally.  

At the risk of sounding downright whiney (if I haven't already), this waiting time is very hard. I just want to feel all better already.  I want to do some yard work or clean windows, something outside when the days are beautiful.  And we've had so many beautiful days this late winter.  I want to take long walks - both for the physical exercise, and for the emotional benefit walking would be.  And getting a full night's sleep sounds gloriously indulgent, yet impossible.  I'm trying to find ways to manage this waiting time so that discouragement is held at bay.

One of the things I've been humoring myself with is what some call zen-doodling.  Others call it meditative or slow drawing.  I used a gridded drawing like these to make a cover for a birthday card for middle son:

And I'm a little obsessed with this fun wave pattern:

Yesterday, I took another stroll around the yard and I see more evidence of spring:

and a mole, I suspect:

Glad to have seen the hole early.  Hub has found moles pretty easy to get rid of once we discover their presence.  We only had one or two last year and he was able to catch it (or them) with a contraption a neighbor loaned us.  It may be time to buy one of these for ourselves.  It looks wretched (and it is for the poor mole), but it does work.

That's all for me this week, I think.   I don't plan to go on again about my knee until I'm either improving, or have to face a different plan.  I hope you're doing well - physically, mentally, spiritually.   Wherever you are, I hope you stay safe, warm and dry in this unpredictable, changing late winter weather!

~~~~~~~

When I hurts, I cries. Or at least I want to...

 This has become too common a sight in the last week:

I think I mentioned (probably early) last year that I injured my knee in our move in 2021.  It has flared up from time to time since, but I thought it was basically healed when a couple of weeks ago, after months of being good, it flared up again.  It wasn't too bad last week, but since the weekend, it went from annoying to agonizing.

I saw a nurse practitioner in my GP's office on Wednesday and was asked to rate my pain on a scale from 1-10.  I hate being asked this question.  Pain is subjective, and describing it is too.  

Having seen graphics of how to rate pain - where the smiling face has morphed over several pain levels to a crying face, I said, "Well... I want to cry, but I don't - for the most part".  I thought (still do) think it was fair to rate my pain around 8-9, depending on what I'm doing.  He seemed surprised - I suppose since I was sitting there fairly peacefully and almost happy (having a hope of relief will do that to a person).  That, and... this seems to often happen to me:   I suffer and suffer at home, but when I finally get up the nerve to call the doctor and there I sit in their exam room, I start wondering where the discomfort went and why I am there.  

Anyway, when I commented on disliking the pain scale question because of how subjective it is, he agreed with me.  He told me he doesn't ever judge a patient's description of their level of pain.  In the end, I don't know if I have a high pain threshold in that I could let something get to 8 or 9 before calling a doctor, or a low pain threshold for assigning those numbers while I'm still conscious.

Amazingly, I was able to get an appointment at the orthopedics office for Friday.  That's today.  Heading there shortly for x-rays and a consultation. 

Here is how I process these things:  

I'm feeling discouraged that a part of me is hurting badly enough to call a doctor.  Again.  But thankful that a doctor was available so soon.  I'm also expectant that he is able to diagnose and provide me some relief soon.  I'm thankful to live in a time and place where our owies are so often fixable.  When I'm not feeling well, I think about people who lived even just a hundred years ago and probably suffered through what today is easily (if expensively) fixed.  I also think of people who still today live places where they don't have the kinds of resources we have to heal their maladies.  And people here who, for various reasons don't have resources, or don't know about their resources to get help for their fragile, hurting bodies.

I'm keeping the thoughts above forefront as I anxiously anticipate another round of doctor visits, imaging tests, whatever solution is decided upon, then healing which probably includes physical therapy - which is a pretty serious drag.  After last year, that held two surgeries, and still recovering from one, it unnerves me to think about entering the process of treating something painful again.  But hope and thankfulness need to overcome my anxiousness.  Prayers to that end are so appreciated.  I may not get all my answers today, but I'll surely be back with hopeful news, and a plan for moving forward.

~~~~~~