Planting vegetables in the garden and harvesting fruit this spring has brought out the contemplative me. I suspect that just being outside for hours, working the soil, planting seeds and transplants, all the while hearing little else but bird song, makes everyone contemplative - which is reason enough to garden if you ask me, if one can do it. If one wants to.
I remember the previous two springs (after we moved to this property) providing similar contemplative opportunities, but for different reasons.
Two springs ago, I planted most of a garden unencumbered by the knowledge I'd spend the entire Memorial weekend nauseous and in some serious discomfort. After three days and nights of that, I finally conceded defeat and asked Greg to take me to the ER, which resulted in an emergency gall bladder surgery the next morning. That surgery (and recovery) was a bit more involved than anyone expected it to be, but within a couple of weeks I was feeling good enough to finish planting the garden. As I held my mid section, bending over to put seeds in the ground, even I questioned if that was the smartest thing to be doing. But the desire to plant our first vegetable garden at our new home was compelling.
Last spring was different. In late April and May, I knew some of what loomed ahead, and I needed something to distract me from worrying about what was still unknown. With the optimism of an early caught cancer diagnosis, I threw myself into activities that left me physically spent most nights. In May, Greg and I worked together on cleaning up some landscaping that was still lingering from the summer before. Youngest son lent a hand on that Memorial weekend helping us finish up the job.. After all that work, I decided I wanted to till the garden, enlarging the space by a foot or so on three sides.
I planted a few vegetables, but mostly I planted the garden with flower seeds. While I didn't know everything that was ahead, I anticipated that I'd not likely be capable of lifting a heavy canner come August to preserve tomatoes or pickles or green beans. But tending flowers seemed like a lovely thing to do as I healed from surgery.
With the flower garden put in, in the early weeks of June, we ate, gave away and froze lots of strawberries. I think I might have picked the last of the strawberries the day before my surgery. The night before surgery, I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up and sewed a pillow to protect my chest during the weeks of healing when I had to ride in a car and use a seatbelt. Why I waited until the night before surgery to make it, I haven't a clue - except that I can be a world-class procrastinator at times.
Having all these things to do was a gift. And having that pillow served me well for the rest of the summer as my chest healed.
Headed home the day after surgery.
My smile, I'm sure, can be attributed to still enjoying the benefits of a pain block.
While in the spring of 2023 I was wise enough to know I wouldn't be up to picking and preserving vegetables come late summer, I did imagine myself visiting the garden that summer and cutting fresh flowers. I envisioned bestowing bouquets on anybody who might need encouragement that year. It seemed like an antidote of sorts to facing my own scary stuff. Funny how things turn out sometimes. Nothing of any consequence ended up growing in the garden last summer. Not one single flower. But I was blessed weekly with fresh flowers from friends and family. The whole experience has inspired me to plant flowers again, but this time there will hopefully be an abundance of veggies to pick in July and August, too.
In all the outside work this spring, the thing that has been on my mind most is my recent diagnosis of osteoporosis of the spine.
Since last November, I have educated myself on the topic - to the point of annoying at least few people, I'm sure. And this month I met for the second time with an endocrinologist and my oncologist, and have been making some changes that will, hopefully, minimize further bone loss. We'll see this coming November when I get second DEXA scan. Am I worried about what the results of that scan will be? Yes. A bit. Am I trying to live like I'm not worried about it? Yes, because in addition to being an incredible procrastinator, I'm am also world-class compartmentalizer.
But I'm not living in denial. While I try to discipline myself to focus more on safe (and frankly, healthy) postures, I also try not to worry that some of the positions a gardener naturally gets into are not recommended for persons who have osteoporosis. All my medical peeps were pleased to hear I'm enjoying gardening this spring, but interestingly, no one talked about being careful doing it. Can I just say again how seriously thankful I am for the internet and all the resources available to us today.
A year ago, I was pleased (no, I was actually pretty proud) that I could still bend forward and touch my toes with little effort. I still can, but my pride is all but shriveled up now knowing that this is not a recommended thing to do if one has osteoporosis in the spine. This spring, as I've bent over to pick strawberries (which is the most comfortable position for me), I consider over and over again the gamble I am taking rounding my back for that task. At this point, the last of the strawberries have been picked, and I've managed to not hurt myself, so I have another year at least before I need to think about that specific task again.
Coming through all that last year held, I've come to recognize that all of life is a gamble. On some level we all know our choices come with risks, but most of us don't count the costs of the risks we take on a daily basis. We give little thought to the potential bad outcomes of our choices. We go happily through our days with no worries or even thoughts about what is going on inside our cells, our bones, our vital organs. As long as one can live that way, I consider it gloriously good to embrace it. Even being more aware of the gambles I take, I consider it good to live life as free as possible from worry about all the "what ifs".
While I now live with a greater awareness of the gambles I regularly take (in this context, the positions I get myself into), I try to not let that awareness worry me into being a scaredy cat.
At the moment, I feel like I'm living in a middle land - where the brain understands and sort of counts the costs, but the heart or the will hasn't quite figured out what do with the information that fires in my brain with every wrong move. Retraining myself into new postures for doing old activities, I think must involve a fair amount of synaptic activity before new ways of doing things become second nature.
This is what's in my head this week. Some loosely connected thoughts about osteoporosis, being relieved the strawberry picking has come to an end, glad the garden is in, and that I have a bit of a reprieve before anything else needs harvesting.
That reminds me... we have peaches this year! I thinned them out a couple of weeks ago, and now they look like they'll be manageable - if they make it to ripeness without becoming bird or bug fodder.
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Until the peaches ripen, and the vegetable garden needs more attention, I'm contemplating what's next. I'm assessing my need for more canning jars and lids, will soon go to work again on hopefully perfecting low or no-sugar jam, and I'm contemplating sewing some tops I recently bought fabric for.
But first, this evening we have friends coming over with Chinese takeout. I've been too pooped the last month to think about being hospitable, so tonight feels like a nice change of pace. With the calendar turning to June tomorrow, it feels like a new beginning.
I love new beginnings...
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,
this person is a new creation;
the old things passed away;
behold new things have come.
- 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NASB)
Bless you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Elizabeth. 🩷
DeleteI am glad that you can think while gardening. On that note, I once upon a time was a jogger (note I didn't say runner) and I never liked playing anything while running. Back then it was an iPod. I like to hear life when I am outside. Gardening is a great workout. I rarely do anything else if I have yard work to do to stay in shape. I am thinking I need to read what you are reading about all that O word. I have been using a rebounder for a while and am hoping it is doing something good inside me. I do not want my bones to be where my mom's are and don't want to take that medicine either. So feel free to send some of the stuff you have already found my way:)
ReplyDeleteAnd I am always so surprised at growing seasons outside my area.
Sandy, every once in a while I think about making some of my posts all about sharing the most helpful osteoporosis resources I find (online and otherwise). Your comment makes me consider that that might be helpful for more people than I imagine.
DeleteBecki, at least for myself part of what I find as I am growing older (yes, it happens to all of us) is learning to make peace with the body I have. For me it has consciously meant giving up activities that I enjoyed, like Highland Games and running, because it means body has less wear on it. I find other ways to fill that gap.
ReplyDeleteEven with your diagnosis, thee are still ways to garden - there are plenty of recommendations for what are basically planter boxes at waist height, for example
As I found with my ongoing discussion of my parents' medical conditions, blog posts can be a resource for others. In some ways more meaningful, because they have personal insights that a medical style blog only might not have.
Yes, TB, in reality we are always adapting our bodies to changes that eventually become out of our control (if we live long enough). I'm simply hyper aware of this particular condition I now know I have - have probably had for years. I have a whole tirade that sometimes begs to be written about how the medical community has completely failed in educating people about osteoporosis. In fact, anytime I write about it here, it is with the hope that others take note and consider it is a topic to be aware of. To educate onself on.
DeleteI hope these types of posts provide someone in similar shoes with a peace of mind that these are completely normal thoughts and stages a person goes through when hearing a diagnosis that challenges how s/he sees her/himself. That is one of the great benefits I have experienced as a reader of others' inner thoughts.
An older friend of mine has such a planter box as you describe, and it satisfies her desire to grow things. While I can do (and enjoy doing) the physical work of gardening, I'm thankful for the exercise it provides, and the reasons it gives me to be thankful for miserably hot weather. 😉
Tagging onto II Corinthians 5:17's line of thought, "His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness." Lamenations 3:23
ReplyDeleteChinese take out sounds good!
Thank you for that, Barbara. It is good to be reminded of God's faithfulness and His mercies.
DeleteI’m sorry I lost touch on what was happening with you over recent years and your diagnoses of cancer and osteoporosis. You sound like you are keeping your spirits up with doing what’s manageable and time in the garden seems to have healing powers for the soul for sure. It’s amazing that you have a peach tree, I hope the beasties keep off them and you are able to enjoy them. Liz (Highlandheffalump)
ReplyDeleteLiz, I'm doing really well, I think. The main reason I even bring up osteoporisis is to bring people's attention to this problem - that if one lives long enough the chances of getting it are significant. And the younger one begins to monitor their bone density, the better are their chances to prevent it from happening. Most people who have osteoporosis, discover it in their 60's, but the damage was beginning in their 40's and 50's, and could possibly have been corrected through lifestyle, diet and specific exercises, and possibly hormone therapy. I'm getting an education on the topic, and I am just incredulous how we are failed by the medical community on this problem. Off my soapbox. I will likely write more in future posts.
DeleteBeautiful quote to looking ahead, without anxiety. I'm wondering about bone loss and how the oncologist and endocrinologist are involved? I thought the oncologist was a cancer doctor, and endocrinologist a hormone doctor. Of course all systems are connected, but I'd assume an orthopedic doctor would be the one to consult regarding osteoporosis. I really appreciate you sharing all your thoughts, especially medical. My boys were just asking about why people smoke and drink a lot of soda, when i specifically tell them those things aren't good. At some point, we don't care, but should, because it will likely catch up with us, if we aren't careful. I'm certainly not perfect, too many sweet baked goods and ice cream in my life! Also, a friend told me that consuming more dairy won't help with potential osteoporosis, rather it may cause inflammation, and that may cause bone loss.
ReplyDeleteI don't take heed, but consume dairy because it's so delicious to me.
Martha, it is good to raise children with good eating habits. It is slso good for us all to understand that many conditions (like cancer and osteoporosis, and thousands of other horrible diseases) strike even the healthiest of us. In fact being thin and trim, even eating vegan or vegetarian, are all risk factors for osteoporisis. That was shocking to me, but once I understood bone metabolism, and things that help our bones to be healthy, it makes sense.
DeleteI think I'll address your question in a bit more detail in a future post, but in short, yes, at this point, my ongoing cancer-prevention treatment, and osteoporosis are linked. In fact, part of my endocrinologist's practice is devoted to cancer patients.
I am often surprised that I haven't been diagnosed with osteo because I've had a lifetime of not drinking milk which is supposed to be huge when it comes to having good bones. When I was born it was discovered that I was hugely lactose intolerant and nearly died before they figured out the problem was cow's milk. My mother wasn't allowed to nurse due to having had TB when she was a young adult. I do eat cheese and ice cream but have to limit my consumption and have relied on calcium supplements to hopefully replace it. In recent years I discovered that I could tolerate our homemade kefir which, in the process, does 'something' to the lactose that makes it okay for me. My mother had osteo so I keep expecting I will succumb but so far all the tests have come back great. I hope you do end up posting further about your findings because it's interesting to know more about it.
ReplyDelete