When was the last time you sat in a waiting room that didn't have a TV in it? Or maybe there was a TV on, but the volume was too low to actually hear it. Did you sit there feeling a little stupid as you watched a silent picture? Feeling only slightly less stupid realizing that the person in the next seat over was watching the silent TV too?
This was my very odd experience last week at my dentist's office.
To get to the point of this post... TV or not, when was the last time you sat in a waiting room without pulling your cell phone out to check for a text, or to simply help you pass the time?
This past week I challenged myself to do just that. Just sit. In a waiting room. For an undetermined amount of time without distracting myself with my phone.
I didn't last more than five minutes before sheer awkwardness drove me to finally dig my phone out of my purse. It wasn't boredom that made me look for my phone. It wasn't that I felt compelled to check on something. It was simply that I grew overwhelmingly awkward sitting in a silent waiting room, in the midst of people also sitting there - most on their phones.
It didn't used to be this way. I can remember years ago sitting quietly, maybe closing my eyes to deepen the experience of soaking in the quiet. I remember when life was busy with kids and their activities, having occasions to sit alone, quietly in a waiting room and actually enjoying it. I remember sometimes carrying a book with me if I expected to be waiting for very long. I remember picking up magazines on a nearby table to glance through, and once (at a dentist's office) I even remember when the receptionist offered to make a copy of the article I was reading. I guess she noticed I was engrossed when I was called back more quickly than I expected to be.
This week, in the waiting room of a lab, there weren't even magazines.
The Quest Diagnostics waiting room I have had the experience of visiting in recent years is a sadly stark space. I don't think there is a window to look out of. No music. There is definitely no TV. There isn't even a person whose job it is to check people in. Even that little bit of activity can at least give one the opportunity to people-watch without looking obvious or rude. All that is in this dreary waiting room are chairs around the perimeter (that on this day were mostly full), and a kiosk awkwardly placed across the room from the door - just waiting for the next person to walk in and across the gray-carpeted floor to check him or herself in. Watching the back of someone silently checking himself in on a touch screen doesn't make for very interesting people watching.
So I looked around, smiling if someone made eye contact. Finally, folding my arms over my purse I began to hopelessly look at the walls for something my eyes could land on. There were three pieces of paper tacked to a bulletin board close to where I sat, but the print was so small I couldn't read them without getting up and going to see what was printed on them. They didn't look interesting enough to bother.
I shifted my body. I changed my gaze. I looked at the carpet. Then, glancing in different directions, I tried not to look shifty.
Feeling shifty, I closed my eyes. Having nothing at all to listen to, I felt odd sitting like that - imagining I looked like I was praying. Which would have been a perfectly fine thing to do, but I was so overcome by my awkwardness actually praying didn't even cross my mind.
Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. I opened my eyes and pulled out my phone.
I checked for texts. Nothing there.
I texted a friend (a few years ago, I began texting one long-distance friend whenever I found myself in a waiting room - I thought it was a unique genre of texting, even if it was a little weird).
She didn't reply.
Since I didn't have earphones, I couldn't watch a video, so I googled something. I have no memory of what inane thing I typed into the search box. What I remember was how disappointed I was in myself that I didn't have the fortitude to not pull my phone out and pretend I had something interesting to do on it. I had failed the challenge.
Setting aside, for a minute, my utter disappointment in myself, I'm suddenly remembering I have Solitaire on my phone. And some word game. I rarely play games on my phone, so it didn't even occur to me. Is that what other people are doing on their phones when they look completely immersed in something fascinating?!? I've always assumed other people have gobs of friends or family texting them. Or I've figured they might be doing some important work on their phone.
Are they actually just playing games?!?
In my next post, I'll explain where this topic has sprung from, but for now, seriously... when was the last time you just sat silently in a waiting room, not watching TV, not playing on your phone? Instead, just sitting with your thoughts. I'm sure a few of you have. But no worries if you haven't, or have no desire to. It's just a question. A serious question. But not one with any criticism implied.
While I failed on my last attempt, I'm already looking forward to the next opportunity I have. I am determined to succeed.
I'm one of those rare people who can't be bothered with a phone. I have one. I don't turn it on because I'm simply not the least bit interested. So...I take a book everywhere I go. A real honest-to-goodness-page-turning book. I do get some strange looks because people simply can't fathom why I would want to carry a book when I can do everything on a phone. Old school, that's me.
ReplyDeleteYou know, Mary Anne, I think I probably gave up carrying a book with me to medical appointments after TVs became the norm in waiting rooms. I find it impossible to read (with any retention) with that kind of background noise. I also can't read with music in the background if I can hear lyrics being sung. Maybe I could train myself to tune it all out if I perservered, but I have never been able to manage it in the past.
DeleteI still take a book when I am alone in an office. I love to read from a real book so that is good times for me, but here is the catch. I am the one person in life that a talker is going to find me. They are going to chat my ears off!!! Mostly I have Mama with me at appointments and she is chatting me up:). I suppose they are lonely and finally have someone to talk to and I just look like a listener. I do think phones have replaced so much and it is disturbing to see so many people with their heads down and quite frankly addicted to them. Myself included. I do take breaks from them though. My thing that catches me is Instagram. I don't have games on my phone, but Instagram is my magazine. I follow all kinds of stitchers, bakers, decorators and fashion so I always can find pretty pictures to peruse.
ReplyDeleteSandy, I so relate to what you wrote. I tend to attract talkers, too. Interestingly, I don't encounter talkers that much anymore. Maybe the TVs have their attention, too. Or maybe their phones serve as adequate enough distraction. While I confess I used to dread when someone would try to continue ongoing chatting with me in a waiting room, now that it doesn't seem to happen, it makes me a little sad. Not that I really want to make small talk with a stranger (especially with others listening in), the experience did provide an opportunity for putting on kindness, and that alone is a valuable thing.
DeleteI am a phone person. Usually I have a book on my phone to read. If I am taking one of my family members to their appointment, I take my knitting to help pass the time. That usually starts a conversation with someone in the waiting room.
ReplyDeleteI am definitely a phone person at this point, Marsha. I have taken knitting or crocheting with me - especially, if I'm accompanying my husband to some medical thing and I know I'm going to have a lot of uninterrupted waiting time. I don't know that I've ever had anyone strike up a conversation due to it - unless maybe from one of those "talker" peeps mentioned above. My phone has pretty much replaced knitting in waiting rooms.
DeleteBecki, it is interesting that this is the post I came back to, as this is something that has been on my own mind as well. I used to carry a book everywhere with me as well, but then somehow fell out of the habit over time (most likely the phone replaced it). I really do need to get back into the habit of carrying a book with me and having that in hand, not the phone (something else I am working on is becoming more analog again).
ReplyDeleteGlad my post was timely for you, TB! I like the idea of becoming more analog. I have a small something to say about that in another post. Though, as much as I complain that technology has in many ways complicated our lives, I seem to be here for it. :)
DeleteI think the phrase for the new era is an old one, "appropriate technology".
DeleteI see nothing wrong with checking your cell phone while waiting for anything. Glad to have that option. Sometimes I save emails to read when I know I'll be waiting like that.
ReplyDeleteOh, I agree completely, Barbara. This post was about me challenging myself to NOT pull out my phone (again, the reason will be explained in another post), and how difficult it was for me to complete such a simple challenge. I was very surprised (and in some ways humored) by the experience.
DeleteWhat an interesting post, my friend. I know exactly what you are talking about! In fact, when you said you cross your arms over your purse and sit there. I do the exact same thing!!! It is something to think about, isn't it? What did we as a society do without our phones??? I carry a book everywhere I go, because I love to read. But also, because I don't like to talk to people!!!
ReplyDeleteBillie Jo, we often ask ourselves, "What did we do before cell phones?" On one hand, I am very grateful that we have this easy way to connect with others, and we can feel a bit safer knowing we can call for help if needed and if we are able. But the reality of how we usually use our phones (people sitting together staring at their devices instead of interacting with each other) is quite the paradox.
DeleteHaha, I have just got back from an appointment for an MRI and was thinking along the same lines as you, the only thing to look at was a notice on the wall telling you how to pay for your parking, I don't know how many times I read it. I said to my daughter I wonder how many hours of our life do we spend waiting. Everyone was looking at their, phones I took a quick glance at mine and put it straight back into my bag, if I spent too long on it the radiation hurts my face anyway, I have just had a flare up over the past week. How much damage are we doing to ourselves looking at them I wonder. I will take a book or the basic kindle with me next time I have to wait.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad my post was so timely for you, Linda. I feel ignorant saying this, but radiation from a cell phone has not been something I've given much thought. You've given me something else to go online and learn about!
DeleteI take my Kindle with me to waiting rooms. But I rarely have more than a couple of minutes to wait there. My doctor still observes COVID precautions and waiting happens in the patient exam room. Where I continue to read on my Kindle.
ReplyDeleteLiz, I hadn't put my experiences lately in doctors' waiting rooms together with changes since COVID. I think the same thing is happening here. While all my doctor's offices are huge, I've marveled since COVID hasn't been quite so worrisome why there's never more than two or three people waiting. Everyone sits far apart, and consequently, I don't encounter talkers anymore. They must still following COVID protocols, like you say.
DeleteMy dentist's office is another story. Patients seem stacked up, but I also notice at this office that there is almost always someone(s) waiting on patients who are in the back getting teeth worked on. So while I groan when I first walk in, thinking I'm going to be waiting forever, usually I find myself getting called back while others who got there before me continue waiting. I'd guess more than half of the people in that waiting room are accompanying someone else. I never had that experience at my other dentist's for some reason.
This place I was at last week was a lab where people drop in (though some make appointments) to have blood drawn, so there is no controlling how many people might stop in at any given time. It's not my preferred lab, but I started a series of blood draws there the week before, and I felt I should finish my labwork there last week. I think I'm going to try to avoid this place in the future. While my past experiences there have been fairly quick, last week was awful, and I really dislike that there isn't a human to interact with when checking in.