About mid-December, I thought I'd take a week or so off from blogging, thinking I'd be back soon, and then the weekend before Christmas my world upended.
On Thursday the 17th, I received a call telling me my brother was being taken to a Hospice facility. We have not had contact in a long time and I had no idea he was even sick before that dreadful moment. He informed me he was diagnosed with colon cancer in June, he went through treatment, but "it didn't go well".
A master of understatement, he was single, never married, lived alone, and he had listed me as his emergency contact.
A phone call that compelled me to want to be with him, also came with the knowledge that being with him would be impossible once he was admitted into the hospice facility - due to COVID restrictions. And it was impossible for me to get there before that door literally closed to me.
I was able to have one short phone conversation with him an hour or so later, after he'd gotten settled, but he was quickly overcome by sleep from the medications he was on. The next day, Friday, I drove to the facility in hopes that I could visit with him - though they would only allow a "patio visit" where I would be on the outside of the window to his room. I was there, but he had no idea. He would not wake up.
He never woke up.
I do not believe the Hospice nurses thought death was that imminent, but he died the next day, Saturday the 19th.
I hope to post his obituary here soon. A sister is writing it; she has a beautiful way with words. For now I just want to let my blogging friends know why I am not here. Why I have not been visiting blogs in the last couple of weeks. That I am deeply saddened by grief. I'm better than I was just 2 days ago when I was still utterly crushed and devastated with grief and regret. The grief, of course, ebbs and flows.
Someday soon I'm sure I'll come back to regular blogging - maybe after New Year's, and maybe I'll even have the desire for sharing about the happy or even mundane things of life again. I miss the camaraderie of my blogging friends. The catching up with one another. Lives touching other lives around the world. I am so thankful for each of you.
For now, your prayers and kind words are greatly appreciated. And, if you like, leave a note telling me who you told "I love you" today.
I just told a good friend who texted today to check on me. 💗
