Monday, August 12, 2019

On Retirement...


My husband's retirement that is!

Image from Wall Street Journal article


Mostly, it's going smoothly.  We both have enough (separate things) to do away from home that we are able to give each other enough space and time to just breathe and "be" by ourselves.   

This was one of my concerns.  After having freedom to order my days as they seemed to fit what I want and need to do, I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have my husband here all day, every day - observing how I spend my days.  I think hubs is actually a little surprised at all I have going on.  When I mention that tomorrow (or later in the day) I'm going to go do...  whatever it is I have scheduled on that day, he's surprised - even though he knows I've been doing these things.  I guess seeing is believing - and if his reactions are any indication, I'm thinking he didn't quite believe my life was so full when he was at work all day.  lol  


But we are also finding ways to be together that we didn't have much opportunity for before...


On Thursday of last week (after hubs and I took an hour-long walk in the cool of the morning), he trimmed some bushes while I power-washed the back of the house, the deck, and a patio area.  It's always an exhausting job, but this time I needed half of the next day to recover.  I've concluded from that that I really need to do some weight training. I thought my right arm was going to fall right off when I tried to sleep that night.  Okay...  yes, that's a little bit of an exaggeration, but exhausted as I was, sleep only came after I finally took several extra strength Ibuprofen.  

This week, I hope to make some progress culling through stuff.  Possibly craft stuff.  Possibly clothes.  Maybe books.  So many choices of things to downsize...  It's a bit of a scary thought, but I'm contemplating photographing my progress (or maybe just photographing what leaves the house).  I think that would be interesting.  Might be motivating.  Could be humiliating.  Hmmm...  We'll see...

Tomorrow hubs is helping his mother out - transporting her to two different doctors' appointments.  She lives about an hour north of us, so that's easy enough to do.  Easy, perhaps isn't the right word, but he's glad to be able to do it, I know. Various ones of us have helped out with these kinds of things in recent years, but it's so good that he can do this more easily now - without taking a day of vacation from work.    


All in all, I'm finding the blessings in hubs' retirement.  And for that perspective I am truly thankful.


I'll try to remember to post more as those blessings occur to me.   😊






13 comments:

  1. It certainly is an adjustment to have your spouse with you 24/7. I was the last to retire and hubs had been retired for 10 years already. It has been 4 years now and what a blessing it is to be able to be with each other as much as we are. We also have our own separate things we like to do. I am so glad you are finding the little blessings each day. As for culling things. Have fun! It is very rewarding. We continue doing that each month. After being in this home for 31 years.......well.....let's just say we have too much "stuff". Taking photos would be fun and might even motivate me more to work faster.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been culling through stuff for the last 4-5 years (since retiring as a homeschooling mom). But now begins a different kind of downsizing. There is still emotion attached, but hopefully I've done enough of that kind of getting rid of so that I can move through what will actually be more "bulk" than "substance" a little easier.

      Delete
  2. We've been through similar when Steve got a new position within his company, and finally landed a job where he can come home every evening, after almost 30 years of traveling and only coming home for the weekends - and all that at about the same time that I went back to work after years of housewifey life. I will admit there was some swearing and shouting and being cross on both sides but now we're doing okay. I've always been an avid list maker, and just recently took to writing lists of all the things I do and achieve throughout the day, and we were both quite amazed at the sheer number of things I get done, on top of working. I guess even the best husbands never quite grasp how much time and effort it takes to run a household unless they see it or, even better, participate. I'm glad you find so many blessings in the new situation. Staying positive and actively looking for the good definitely helps through times of change. As for culling stuff, do take photos, or keep a list of items you give away. It's so motivating and freeing to literally look back on how much you managed to get rid of.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We've had some "moments" that well, let's just say require forgiveness. I'm a little surprised at how it's going at this point. I still feel like I'm proceeding cautiously (i.e. with realistic expectations), but seeing good things, I'm choosing to try to stay positive.

      It does help that my husband has been exceedingly happy about not commuting to work these past two weeks. He does not miss driving in the city traffic and maneuvering things like convention goers (his office was a block north of the Convention Center and Victory Field (baseball park) - oh, and Lucas Oil Stadium. And across the street from a complex of museums and the zoo! He was on a busy, busy corner of downtown Indianapolis for the last 20 years. Until recently, Indy has always been a very maneuverable city, but some recent changes in public transit have turned it into chaos - for a while, anyway. He's so glad to not be dealing with all of that anymore - at the worst times of the day.

      Delete
  3. I think you are both doing a great job of "adjusting" and being respectful of each other's "me time". Keep up the good work! But don't let your limbs fall of for heaven's sake! LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Sam. I suspect we're in a "honeymoon" period and there will be bigger adjustments as we get serious about downsizing and, hopefully, moving. For now, I'm thankful for this.

      Delete
  4. You definitely have the right attitude and hopefully he does as well. There's bound to be an adjustment period and as long as you maintain a sense of humour about it there won't be too many bumps in the road. I recommend you both do some of your own things but also make time to be with each other. A simple cup of coffee together, either home or away, does a lot to smooth the rough edges.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. I'm finding it surprising that we are going to have to be intentional about doing things together. I really didn't expect that we both had so much to keep us occupied. Well, let's say I didn't think he did. :)

      Delete
  5. I admire you seeing the positives! My husband retired some years ago now and we do okay until I touch anything of his! It's especially hard to weed out, downsize or rearrange. One of his hobbies now is estate sales! As much as I hate to admit it, I sometimes am glad to have to return to Maine to take care of my mother. The problem is...she's a hoarder too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm... hoping to eventually move from our current home (sooner rather than later), we're both trying to be in the mindset of downsizing. But it's not easy. Estate sales would be especially dangerous things for a couple in this season of life. lol

      Delete
  6. That's great Becki. I can relate to how you feel about needing to find your "me" time again. Alex started working from home in 2014 and it was a huge adjustment. Since I've been on disability since 2003, I've been managing my own time and life the way I feel good. I'm a creature of habit so I NEED my routines. At first they were all out of whack, but as time goes by, you get used to it. In fact, I really value the time we have together. We spend our days mostly doing our own thing, meeting for coffee in the morning, sometimes lunch and always dinner. We do chores together now too, it's kind of nice! :) I don't know if I could get used to him working away from home anymore!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Congratulations to your hubbie. My husband is home on Fridays; he drives me crazy sometimes, LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Becki, I am so glad you stopped by and commented. I plan to come back and read some more. I have been going through stuff for the last 5 years. I am not downsizing from the house, but realize that I have way too much stuff and don't want my kids having to deal with it one day. It is truly a process. Anyway, it is time to get ready for church and I rarely get on on Sundays, but I will be back to read again.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...