Much is happening here, but most isn't really shareable. Or somehow it seems that way. Truthfully, the visible part of what we are doing is so mundane it isn't worth writing about here. The emotional part is yet to be fully realized, I suspect.
We're moving into a new stage where I can feel free to make decisions about my brother's things that I've not felt free to before now. It is good to be at this place because it will start freeing up our home, but there is an emotional cost to this that I don't know how to count right now. On the surface it feels something like relief, but deep down it feels like something else. Another loss.
Sigh.
Meanwhile, while I ponder this somewhat elusive place I am in, stuff does get done. I do laundry. I grocery shop. I cook and eat. Too much. That last thing doesn't help, I know. I go to doctor's appointments. They tell me to eat better and get more exercise.
I know. I know...
I will.
And I stitch. I'm so thankful God gave me this gift of enjoying making things with my hands.
This week I stitched a little on the bunny cross stitch I showed last week - it's nearly done. And I kitted up a small seasonal project I'd like to start soon. And of course I don't want to totally neglect the mystery sampler I'm only 7 months behind on, but I have completely ignored it for a week now.
Today I have crochet to show. I got out some pretty spring-colored crochet threads and made two more little doilies from the book, 99 Little Doilies by Patricia Kristoffersen.
Doily #4, which I'm calling Sweet Thing:
and Doily # 24 - which I've dubbed "Parasol":
I'll just say upfront, I did #24 wrong. But that's okay. That makes mine an original. And a good blocking made it all better. Truth be told, I like my mistake better than the original. Isn't it nice when that happens? 😊 This one I made with size 3 thread, which means it's thicker than a typical doily, and it should make a nice little coaster. That center part is just the right size for fitting under a glass.
That's it! That's all I've got on the crafty front - on this second day of spring! Well that and tomorrow I'm scheduled for my second Pfizer COVID vaccine. Yay! Moving closer to normal!
Your doilies are always so sweet to see. What pretty spring colors too. What ever you did to #24 makes it perfect in my eyes.
ReplyDeleteGoing through death us very emotional to begins with. Going through it again when sorting things makes it twice as emotional. My prayers will continue for you for strength for this journey.
Your dollies are beautiful. I love the idea of using them as coasters. I'm beginning to think I really need to learn how to crochet. I love the idea of using something I made versus something I bought. Best wishes as you continue to deal with your brother's estate and death.
ReplyDeleteWhat lovely work you do. And yes, on the rollercoaster of emotions surrounding the belongings of someone who's left us. Good to accept that it happens, though. You're doing very well there.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you are still dealing with "stuff" both physical and emotional. With my son it comes in stages and I still deal with it but each day/year gets easier. I have my moments though. I pray you will find peace soon.
ReplyDeleteI love your doilies as always. Just work on whatever brings you joy in the moment and be kind to yourself. Hugs ~ Sam
I read such poignancy in your post. You are such a strong woman dealing with all you have this past year. I hope you take a moment to give yourself the credit you deserve. Loss is such a complicated emotion - shows up in different ways and at different times and can surprise us at every turn. Know I am thinking good thoughts for you and so happy to hear you are getting your 2nd shot. I am hoping to get my first sometime in May (fingers crossed).
ReplyDeleteLosing a brother is hard! 💕💕💕💕 God bless you and carry you through
ReplyDeleteLosing a loved one and then dealing with an estate is enough to send one over the edge. Between the shock of it and already dealing with the stuff from your mother-in-law is enough to give one's mind lots to think on. I know one byproduct of all of that with me is I need lot less stuff. It is hard to see a whole house of stuff that meant something to someone now not needed. And then all the other stuff of a life lived. Hang in there, dear one.
ReplyDeleteThose little doilies are adorable. I love to use those things under objects to make sure things don't scratch my furniture.
Losing someone you love is hard and it takes time, just be gentle with yourself and do the things which brings you peace, yes I think we are very lucky to have a passion for crafts, I feel quite sorry for those who don't. Crochet has kept me sane on many an occasion. Your doilies look beautiful and look quite perfect to me. 😊
ReplyDeleteThe things beneath the surface . . . those emotional shifts and surprises and upheavals . . . those are the hard things. {{Hugs}} and prayers, friend.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine the emotional toll this all must be taking on you and making decisions to try to both honour your brother whilst also honouring yourself and your home must be a challenge. Hugs across the pond to you, it sounds like you need one. X
ReplyDeleteI recall hearing that grief is not a linear process. Moving forward through something so traumatic is difficult, and its ok to feel things all over again (or new and "exciting" levels of bereavement you didn't realize were going to happen). I wish you peace of mind with the process and your difficult decisions.
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note: I love your doilies!! I have a couple a friend made me for my 32nd birthday, that I truly CHERISH. I love the colors you choose, they are so appropriate for early spring.
Your doilies are beautiful, and I love how you have named them. So clever and both names fit so well.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself. It's okay to feel conflicted and just all the feelings. Sending hugs and wishes for warm days and sunshine to call you back to the park you were enjoying before, to listen to the birds, and see the flowers push through the ground.
Hi Becki! I hope things are okay with you! xx Your stitchwork is beautiful and you are gifted. I hope the vaccination went well and you had no side effects!!! xxx
ReplyDeleteYour doilies always turn out amazing. Hugs on the journey you're going through right now.
ReplyDeleteThere is comfort in doing things with your hands, I've always felt it, and crafting especially as it is creative and colorful. I wish comfort for you, dear Becki, and joy, and send a big hug.
ReplyDeleteAmalia
xo