Sunday, January 16, 2022

He Knew Me Then...

If you've visited me for any length of time, you know that amongst the somewhat trivial posts about moving or crafting, or tending to my aching joints, I sometimes feel compelled to share things of a spiritual nature here.  When that happens I do wonder if it looks like I compartmentalize the spiritual from the physical, even "worldly" aspects of life.  If you knew me in person, I think you would come to know I don't tend to compartmentalize these things.  Now worries, problems, cares of life... yeah, I can be a world-class compartmentalizer of those things for the sake of coping and moving through my responsibilities, but in terms of who and what I am, I don't tend to separate the spiritual from the physical aspects of this life.

All that is to say that today's thoughts are fairly normal in my daily existence and like I sometimes do, I've decided to invite you into those thoughts.   

A few days ago I came upon a song, He Knew Me Then, sung by Dallas Holm (in the mid-70's).  I became familiar with Dallas Holm's music when I was a young adult in the 80's, but I'd never heard this simple, beautiful song.  I was so touched by it, and my heart filled and lifted, that I decided to share it here - in case someone else could benefit from its message.  I encourage you to take four minutes and listen to it:



Being raised in the Christian faith, I'm no stranger to the message of God's love.  His love for the whole world.  For you personally, and for me personally.   But while I've been a baptized believer since I was 14, I'll admit sometimes I struggle to fully receive God's love and forgiveness.  Those times are almost always when I come face to face with my failures.  My sins.  Especially my failures and sins that affect others.

I'm not the only one.  In the second and third chapters of Genesis we read about Adam and Eve.  Before they ate the "forbidden fruit", they apparently enjoyed a happy, burden-free relationship with each other, and with God.  But after they ate fruit from the one tree they were forbidden to eat from - the tree of the knowledge of good and evil - their eyes were suddenly opened.  And in their nakedness, which prior to eating the forbidden fruit they were happily unconcerned about, they were overcome by shame.  In their shame and fear, they covered themselves and hid from God.

They were literally and figurative exposed.  They had no excuses, though they tried desperately to make their case, each in turn, for why they had done the very thing they were told not to do.  I don't know why their nakedness suddenly caused them to feel ashamed, when that wasn't an issue before their "fall", but whether you believe Genesis is a true account or not, who doesn't understand the shame these two would have felt when their sin was exposed?

It is part of the human experience that when our sin finds us out, we are ashamed.  In the case of wrong-doing, shame is a good thing.  It's where conscience is awakened and we suddenly see parts of ourselves that are downright awful.  Sometimes we want to hide and cover our wrong-doing.  When the wrong-doing is exposed, we're sometimes compelled to lie or make excuses for it.  The better part of us is usually motivated to come clean and make it right.  To make restitution.  To ask for forgiveness from someone we've wronged.  

I'll take the idea further and say that this is all a good thing.  Because from this place of wrong-doing, earned shame, and wanting to make it right... we may not only become instruments of healing the wounds we inflicted, but we also grow in compassion for others when they are in the same shoes - and we can choose to act on that compassion with understanding and forgiveness. 

Do we bear God's image more than when we have compassion and forgiveness towards others when they fail? 

There's more to all of this, of course.  Ultimate forgiveness comes through Jesus' paying the penalty for our sins through His laying down His life for us - "while we were yet sinners" according to the Apostle Paul in Romans 5:8. 

And 1st, 2nd, and 3rd John are filled with some truly encouraging words about how much God loves us, and Jesus being our advocate when we sin.  I have needed that message so often - over the past year, especially.

If these thoughts seem a ways off from the message of Holm's simple song above, they're not.  I think this is exactly what Holm's song is about.  God knew Adam and Eve would sin.  It's tempting, I know, to be indignant, thinking He set them up for their fall.  Clearly, I am not God. I don't know why the whole garden of Eden drama had to happen, but one thing that seems very clear to me is that God created Adam and Eve (and you and me) knowing we were going to fail.  Knowing when we had achieved our full faculties and became fully responsible for our actions, we were going to sin.  But He created us anyway.  In His image!   He knew us then, and loved us.  And He loves us still. 

Boggles the mind.  

And clears the heart of shame if we let it.   





20 comments:

  1. Lovely post Becki, food for thought, I couldn't access the video via your post but googled it and listen to it on U Tube. Beautiful .. Our church is doing a 10 days of prayer for the world we are on day 5 and some amazing miracles have happened, God is good.

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    1. Exciting what your church is experiencing, Sharon! God is good.

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  2. God dignifies us with free will, the power to make decisions of our own rather than having God or fate predetermine what we do. He did not expect Adam and Eve to fail. They were perfect beings, and as you pointed out, had a happy, strong relationship with their father. They had a beautiful home, meaningful, enjoyable work, and good food all around them. And apparently, it did work out for quite some time, until Satan stepped in. Adam and Eve abused their ability to make decisions, and made a very bad one that still affects us today, like a genetic disease. We're not perfect anymore, far from it. And still, God doesn't expect us to fail in general. He knows our limitations but he also sees what we're capable of, and he knows us so much better than we know ourselves. He sees whether we do our best to obey his commands, or whether we just don't care. He helps us become the persons he already sees in us, and he hears our prayers, even the ones where we can't find the right words to say. He doesn't expect more than we can give, he just wants us to give our best.
    I agree, it's almost impossible to understand how much he loves us, how much he cares for us, how much he cheers us on and wants us to succeed. And how he offers his love and friendship, free of cost, and urges us to take the hand he offers, and stay close to him. Isaiah 48:17,18
    So the failure is in giving up and not giving a hoot. As long as we still struggle, still try to do our best, learn from our mistakes and strive not to make the same mistakes again, and do our best to obey God's commands, we succeed in his eyes. And that, for me, is the most amazing thing about his love.

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    1. Thank you for such a thoughtful comment, Ella. I want to be careful to not tread too boldly where I have incomplete understanding (and hope that I didn't above), so I'm only going to offer a few thoughts here to hopefully clarify anything I wrote above that could benefit from that:

      I'm experiencing a moment when I feel our human (and English) words probably fail to adequately convey who God is, and what His motivations are, but I will say that God's 'expecting' and God's 'knowing' what Adam and Eve would do, or what you and I will do, translate as two different things in my mind. Expecting them (and us) to disobey (sin) is where the temptation comes to see the whole thing as a set up. Knowing they would (and we will) disobey Him makes way for His grace and mercy to work.

      Secondly, I'm realizing my using the word 'failure' at times above is very ambiguous. While it's not clear at all to the reader (and may still not be after reading this), I'm using that word in the above post to label profoundly regretful choices that were made out of fear, some human selfishness, probably immature faith, and failure to apply the faith I possess (and profess), and limited understanding of circumstances - for many years. When my brother died at the end of 2020, my eyes were suddenly opened - both literally, by information I was made privy to, and figuratively in that I recognized the above factors that were in play in the choices I made. I don't know if these choices were actual sin or disobedience on my part, but trying to sort that out over the last year hasn't resulted in minimizing the regret. Nothing minimizes the regret, and I'm learning to live with it and be thankful for it. Regret may fade (or turn) to something greater than I can imagine, but at the moment it throws me at the foot of the cross - which feels like the most horrible and the most beautiful place to be at the same time.

      That God knew me and loved me when I was making choices I would regret, and that He knows me and loves me the same today is life changing in the moments that I wrap my mind around it. It gives breath to my hope that He has already redeemed the choices of the past. There are so many things I don't understand - about how we live out this faith, and about what God has done and continues to do to redeem us, but I'm hopefully moving closer to more fully trusting His love for us. For me.

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    2. Just a few verses from Psalms that have deeply touched me, and will hopefully give you that warm, loving feeling as well:

      "He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
      Nor has he repaid us what our errors deserve.
      For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
      So great is his loyal love toward those who fear him.
      As far off as the sunrise is from the sunset,
      So far off from us he has put our transgressions." (Ps. 103:10-12)

      That feels like a bear hug from our loving father in heaven.

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    3. Oh, Ella, those are beautiful words to be reminded of. I think I will work on memorizing that passage. Thank you!

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  3. Great post! You took me back to memory lane. I have that song downstairs in the album cabinet which is one of those things I just can't seem to part with and yet I have no turntable. You have made me want to go buy one just to listen to his albums. He was truly one of my favorites from those days. I saw him more than once and believe it or not he came to my wee small town of Brewton, AL probably in the late 70s. Yes that is a poignant song. I remember all of his songs as being so thought provoking.

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    1. I have wondered if we owned that album at one time. I know we had at least one Dallas Holm album. We got rid of all our LP's years ago when CD's became the medium of choice for music (nevermind the rest of the world has left me behind there, too). Middle son gave us a turntable a few years ago he picked up at an auction, and we've enjoyed collecting a few old records to play on it. Have been wishing we had some of those old records we collected in our twenties, and so thoughtless "decluttered" in our thirties. ;^)

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  4. This is a great post Becki and a good reminder that we all sin despite our best efforts not to. Our God is so patient with us and understands that we try to do our best.

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    1. Thank you, Mary Anne. God is patient indeed.

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  5. Beautiful post here, Becki. We all need to see this. Love the song. I've probably heard it before (love Dallas Holm) but today I quietly sat and listened as if it was new to me, here at my computer with my eyes closed.

    Truly, it's nothing we have done that redeems us from our sins, our mistakes, our poor judgement. Christ has taken care of it all for us, past, present, and future. How grateful I am!

    Saw Dallas Holm in live concert in when I lived in Seattle, sometime between 1979 and 1981.

    Thanks for this post.

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    1. Thank you for sharing that, Barbara. When my mind and heart are truly wrapped around what you wrote in your second paragraph, I am able to pick myself up off my knees and embrace what He is doing in my life. All the while my head still shakes like a little bobble doll, trying to comprehend it.

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  6. Great post Becki! The only thought I think that I could add is that too often Christianity has separated the "worldly" and "spiritual" side of things, to our detriment - we are either "so Heavenly minded we are of no earthly good" or "so much in the world, the world does not know us for Christians". It is integrating those two aspects, so that we are in the world but that God shines through us, that can make the reality of God and Christ real in a way that shows we are here but we are also There.

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    1. I like that, T.B. - "that we are here but we are also There". Yes!

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  7. Beautiful song and a very thought provoking post Becki. Have a great week. xx

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    1. Thank you, Linda. I hope you have a great week, too.

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  8. Have not thought of Dallas Holm in a long time. I became familiar with his music, including this song, in college a looong time ago. Did you ever hear "Rise Again?" It was, I believe, popular around the same time and is beautiful. Great, thoughtful post -- thank you.

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    1. Thanks for your comments, Bob. Yes, I'm very familiar with Rise Again. That song was probably my introduction to Dallas Holm. A beautiful, powerful song. Having discovered his songs on YouTube, I've been enjoying watching more current videos of him where he talks about his songs and ministry. He seems like a humble man with a wonderful family. So good to see that.

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  9. There are so many things that we cannot understand on this side of Heaven, but we do know that He loves us so much that He paid the price to redeem us and He offers us Grace! It truly is amazing! Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging post, Becki . . . for sharing your thoughts with us . . . and for that lovely walk down Memory Lane! I had not heard, nor thought of, that song in many years.

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