Sunday, March 12, 2023

Discarded or set free...

 Scrolling through YouTube shorts recently I came across this short video:


It's just 45 seconds long so not a big investment of your time, but I'd love for you to watch it and comment below after reading my thoughts.   I'm not particularly enthralled with what was created by this gal, but then again we don't get to see the ultimate finished garment.  What I am fascinated with, though, is the idea of taking individual pieces that someone else created and making something brand new out of them.

But the inspiration for this post was that I found myself surprised and a bit disappointed at the number of comments that expressed sadness that hand-made items were donated to a thrift store.  "Discarded" as if no one loved the items enough to keep them and use or display them.

To be honest, when I was younger and before I got back into crocheting, knitting, and cross stitching I may have felt similarly.  On the other hand, I know in my younger adult years I also donated things I had spent hours making when I no longer wanted them.  Some I kind of regret not having now, but that's not the point of this post.  

I'm pretty sure that today, with full knowledge of the time invested in hand-making items, I always find it kind of wonderful to see handmade things sometimes making their way into a thrift store or a garage sale or a flea market.  I don't think of them as being discarded, but rather set free for someone else to love them, to maybe display or remake them.

I actually have a small box that contains things I've made with the hope and intent that someone will discover it one day when I pass.  I sometimes use the items, but there are a few things in there that I'm pretty sure I won't ever use.  I might donate some of the items myself if there become too many to save, but for now I take pleasure in the thought that someday someone else may be tickled to uncover these things.   I'm thinking of putting a note in the box saying something like "Take and use as you wish, or feel free to donate" - just to alleviate any sense of guilt someone might feel about "setting them free".  Or maybe I should just verbally tell my kids now that after my passing, family should feel totally free to do whatever they want with any of the items I've made over the years - preferably donate rather than throw away items no one wants.   I was thrilled when after Hub's mother died in 2020 to be encouraged to go through a bag of crocheted doilies and such things that his grandmother had made many decades ago, and I also brought home some unfinished items my mother-in-law had begun, with the thought that I might finish them someday.  But if I don't, I'll eventually donate them and "set them free". 

Many readers here are (or have been) creators of various hand-made items.  You may be an artist, a seamstress, a woodworker, a crafter...   Whatever you call yourself, you know what I'm talking about.  You have creations in your home that you've invested hours in making.  How do you feel about the idea of those things eventually ending up in a resale shop?  

And regardless of whether you're a maker or not, how do you feel when you see something hand-made being sold for relatively little, knowing the time that went into making the thing? 

Another related question is... Do you struggle donating an item that was hand-made by a loved one, even if you don't want to keep it?

Any other thoughts on the topic are welcome, too!


24 comments:

  1. Wow! What treasures she found at thrift store. I do not begrudge anyone who "donates" handmade items. After going through my mother's things a well as grandmother's items, there is only so much room in my home for all the homemade goodies. Our family took as much as we could. We also invited friends to take a "keepsake" for their homes. And still there were copious amounts of knitting, crocheting, quilting and cross stitching treasures. Donations were made to women's shelters and unwed mother homes. The joy those pieces gave was amazing. Many of the women remembered their relatives having made items similar to those donated. If the items can bring joy to someone then I do not feel the item has been discarded. I too feel they have been set free to be welcomed to someone else's hearth and home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marsha, the older I get the more settled I become in the thought that I should only keep what brings me pleasure - for whatever reason. And items that have some familial historical value. When I'm gone I don't expect to be aware of what anyone does with my stuff. I can say today it brings me pleasure to think of my things being shared with others that may find them meaningful. Thanks for sharing about what you did with your mother's and grandmothers things you didn't keep. I love that!

      Delete
  2. Finding hand made items at rummage sales and thrift stores is always a special treat to me.
    I never give away handmade gifts.
    If after I'm gone, and the person doesn't mind a slightly uncomfortable haunting experience or two, then donating things I handmade for them is all right with me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh May... that second thought (paragraph) made me laugh out loud. That would be a funny note to leave with some handmade items.

      Delete
  3. I don’t have a problem with my handmade items being donated. I would prefer they have an opportunity to find someone who would appreciate and use them. I have certainly donated my own handmade items from time to time. And I always enjoy finding a rare handmade treasure at the thrift store, whether or not I decide to take it home. I appreciate the craftsmanship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too, Alissa. Handmade items in thrift stores are rare finds around here. At least I've never come across much. The gal in the video hit the motherload of crocheted goodies. And they were in such good condition. I wonder if they came from the same donor...

      Delete
  4. Better they be donated than thrown away, the subject of what to do with hand made items when a loved one passes on is complicated I think. I found an unfinished embroidery of my Mothers and completed it and got a lot of pleasure out of that but I love all fibre art and can appreciate the work that has gone into it not but everyone does and I suppose it does create a problem for some. I would find it hard to get rid of something a loved one has created but for those who don't understand the work and skill that has gone into it, I suppose by donating it hopefully someone else will find it and appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is really special Linda, that you completed an unfinished embroidery of your mother's I think I would enjoy doing that too.

      Delete
  5. I make a lot of fiber art, and the value to me is the intensity and rush of making. The product is only the evidence. I don't mind passing on anything. I've received beautiful crocheted items, too. Recently I freecycled a number of fine art pieces, matted and protected, to a delighted receiver, and a bag of scarves I'd knitted, crocheted, painted, stitched to another happy person. They're amazed that I'd do that, but it had all run its course with me.

    To a maker, art is not about keeping!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I enjoyed the video. What fun to see the young woman's imagination let loose with ideas of how to use these handmade pieces in a new way. I'm not a big crafter anymore, and over the years I have given away handcrafted items, my own and other people's - trying to release them without regret or sentimentality but with gratitude and freedom. You make a comment that I agree with: "I don't think of them as being discarded, but rather set free for someone else to love them, to maybe display or remake them." That's how I see it as well.

    I saw your comment on a recent blog post of mine, and I wanted to return the favour. I'm so glad you stopped in, Becki. Wishing you glimpses of heaven in unexpected places.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by, Brenda. I enjoyed what I read on your blog - your style, and your content. I've put a link to your blog over in my sidebar so my readers can check you out if they haven't. I know a couple of my readers are already your readers. I'm pretty sure I followed one of them to your blog. :) So glad I found you!

      Delete
  7. Such a beautiful thought - set them free! My gramma was a prolific knitter and crocheter. We have many things she made, sitting in closets and chests and not being enjoyed. It does seem sad, but there is only so much room in the house to display. And a lot of it does not go with my lifestyle - like doilies on every surface versus the "clutter" I have with an active 12 year old boy. He still runs through the house creating havoc. ; D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Christi! I understand the doily situation. I love making small colorful doilies, but I don't want them displayed around the house like traditional doilies. I like using an occasional one as an accent piece in a display - but I'm realizing I haven't done that in this new house once. I wonder if that means something... I love these videos that people post to YouTube repurposing old things into new things. I really shakes up traditional notions of how to use even outdated stuff.

      Delete
  8. I thought what she made was pretty cool and creative. I don't mind donating because I love to find treasures myself. I have dealt with cleaning out multiple homes so it can be overwhelming and sad to think of letting their things go, but I think it is a great possibility someone will come along and love the thing I didn't want. I do not expect my kids to keep all of my cross stitching. I would hope that they might pick a favorite piece or two, but I won't feel bad that they donated my cross stitching.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sandy, coming across one of your beautiful cross stitched pictures in a resale shop would put someone over the moon in celebration of their amazing find! :)

      Delete
  9. Becki, I think it is fair to say that most creators, although they would like to believe their items will stay with the ones they were created for, know in their hearts that often that does not likely happen. And perhaps that is okay: if it goes to someone to whom it brings joy, that is the great reason for the creation in the first place.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you're right, TB. Also, seeing a couple of my sons embracing a more minimalist lifestyle I have probably grown realistic more quickly than I might have about them wanting much of anything I've made (unless it was made specifically for them). Having only sons also probably brings a different perspective than having daughters might. For example, if my sons were to want any kitchen items I'm pretty sure it would be mostly a pragmatic matter to them (though, I'm sure there might be some nostalgic connection as they use them), whereas I suspect daughters might have a more emotional draw toward keeping some things their mother used. These, of course, are generalizations, but I think they're generally more true than not. :)

      Delete
  10. I'm hopeful that my boys will donate my creations so someone else might be able to enjoy them. I have told them that they are to give my friends first 'dibs' on anything and after that I don't care what they do with any of it. When I give a piece of my work to a friend or family member I really don't have much interest in what they do with it and if they get rid of it, fine by me. For me the joy comes in the making and once I'm done with an item I don't really care what happens to it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary Anne. This idea of giving friends first dibs (and I'll include my sisters in that category) makes me think I should really create a list of people for my family to contact. Otherwise they'd have no clue. I agree with your last sentiment. I think this might be hard for people who aren't "makers" to understand. A lot of time goes into creating, and it may look like not the best use of one's time. If measured monetarily, that would be true, but makers have a different sense of what is valuable. Of course, financial needs or time demands can affect the ability of one to freely give their time to "making", but I suspect the inherent value in creating remains in their hearts even if their ability to pursue creating is limited. It did for me, when I temporarily put aside these desires when I was raising and homeschooling our sons.

      Delete
  11. I like the ingenuity and creativity.
    Amalia
    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's really clever, Amalia. This lady turns some "interesting" thrift store finds into beautiful pieces of clothing.

      Delete
  12. I've donated stuff I made and stuff I bought, to me, there is not a difference between the two because once I no longer have a use for something, hand-made or otherwise, my only objective is to have it gone. If someone else gets that item for a good deal, then it was a good shopping day for them. What happens after I declutter an item, honestly doesn't matter to me because I don't feel attached in that way to those things that I no longer find of use to our home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, Ivy. It's very liberating to set unused items free.

      Delete
    2. That is an excellent word for it, liberating! I still remember how my shoulders felt the first big car load of stuff that I dropped off. I remember the sunshine and the feeling of walking away from too much crap and the lighter that my shoulders felt. Delightful.

      Delete