Just popping in for a super quick moment to make it known that I am here, and am visiting blogs as I feel up to it, but the fatigue I barely mentioned in my last post has hit me profoundly for the last week and a half. I think it is improving at this point (little-by-little, day-by-day), but I have been knocked down much harder after the fourth chemo infusion than from any of the previous three before. I think it's made worse because I simply didn't expect this since I regained my energy about half-way through my previous rounds. Giving into the need to rest for an extra week and a half was not part of my plan. I had things to do! Adjusting my expectations was not something I had on the docket at this point.
That said, and discouraging as it has been, I don't really think it's anything to be worried about, but rather is likely a normal, cumulative effect of several chemo rounds.
But today was a good day. Middle son has come for a visit, and it was great to spend some time outside on our last warmish day this month, me doing the little bit I felt up to. Son is taking down a rogue mulberry tree for us. I don't have a clue why it was ever allowed to keep growing right in the midst of these shrubs - from the size of the base of the trunk, I'd guess for at least 20 years.
Then we enjoyed a fire. One of many in the upcoming weeks, no doubt.
The strawberry patch needs to be prepped for winter, but I'm going to put that off until after a few freezing nights next week. The last two years, I've covered the strawberry plants before the first hard freeze, but I've recently seen online that it's good to harden them off first. Let them experience a few freezing nights. Since my energy level wasn't capable of tackling the strawberries this past week, and next week promises freezing temperatures for three nights, I've decided I'm okay with giving this "hardening off" idea a try.
The asparagus is ready to be cut down now that it's turned yellow, and the seedpods are a cheery red color. We've got some leaves that have been hanging out, composting for over a year now, so hopefully they've pretty much turned to leaf mold and it's all ready to cover the asparagus patch with. I'm already looking forward to next April when the first shoots of asparagus should appear.
With my waning mojo, my handcrafts have largely taken a back seat, again, but a few days ago when I had some extra energy, I decided to look through my yarn hoard stash, and I was motivated to start a simple blanket. It does me good to keep my hands busy, and while I've had to rip back more times than I care to admit (to correct careless mistakes), the stitch pattern is easy enough that my tired brain can handle it.
And that's all I've got for the moment. Thank you for stopping by!
I'm so glad you posted. I've been wondering how you're doing. I hear about this crushing fatigue from other friends in similar situations, and there seems to be only resting and waiting it out, till it lifts. I hope that's soon for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Liz. Crushing is a good word to describe the most exhausting days. Hopefully that part is over, though. Gradually, it seems I'm feeling stronger.
DeleteBecki, insert standard lecture here about taking it easy and husbanding your strength. All of this will be there next year as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you, TB. I trusted that you've give me a lecture. ;^) The truth is, I haven't had much choice for most of the last week and a half but to rest. My body and lungs told me very quickly when I was overdoing it. Things have turned better, but hearing myself huff as I walked across the house, or feeling my arms quiver as I picked up a laundry basket, or my legs go weak when I tried to exercise - all got my attention quickly. Feeling such weakness in my muscles was truly bizarre. Those sensations have subsided, I think. Now, there's just some general tiredness to finish off, hopefully.
DeleteThe knitting pattern and color are just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI do hope your strength comes back soon, but lean into that rest.
The shrubs are pretty and colorful and I do love a fire. I have no idea what it is about them, but I could sit a stoke a fire all day.
Take care of yourself.
I know what you mean about stoking a fire. Watching a fire is mesmerizing. But the chilly evening finally won out and I was the first one inside just before it got dark.
DeleteListening to your body and doing what it's telling you is the best way to heal. Our minds want us to do far more than our bodies can handle and it's tough to do what we should. Enjoying a visit with your son and a lovely fire is just what you needed.
ReplyDeleteSon is spending several night here while he does some work-related training in the area. It's really nice to have him just hanging out with us. When it stops raining, he's hoping to do a little more outdoor work in the early evenings. :)
Delete“Adjusting my expectations” — that describes what I’ve been learning, a good way to phrase it.
ReplyDeleteThe Sweet as Can Be honeycomb pattern, as well as the color yarn, makes for a very nice blanket.
You are doing so well, even with the weariness.
Thank you, Barbara. I've come a long way, and I suppose I should keep that as my focus, as opposed to how far I want to be already. ;^)
DeleteHello! I have been thinkng of and praying for you, my friend. I did send you an email, wondering if you saw it?
ReplyDeleteOh Billie Jo, I did not see your email. I have not been good at all lately about checking it. I will go look for it - hopefully, I did not inadvertently delete it. Thank you for reaching out that way. 🩷
DeleteHi Becki -- it's been a few days since you posted, but I am glad to get the report and hope, by the time I am posting this, you're feeling a bit stronger. Aren't those grown sons -- the ones that are kind enough to tackle chores at our home, then stick around for a visit -- the best?!
ReplyDeleteTake good care. You are in my prayers!
Thank you, Bob. And yes it is a real gift to have such kind and generous adult sons.
DeleteI need to dig up potatoes and plant garlic still. Love your honeycomb patterned blanket and color!
ReplyDeleteThat you have energy to do that with a newborn amazes me, Martha. You'll sure enjoy fresh garlic next year!
DeleteThat is a very pretty asparagus patch in its last moments before being cut down. Your berries are twice as large as mine, and everything looks like a fancy abstract painting. My fronds are always so thick and jungle-y from about July on, I can hardly wait till they start to turn yellow.
ReplyDeleteIt's so good and encouraging to have a son or any other helpful family member on site!
Hi, Gretchen Joanna. I, too, get eager for the asparaus fronds to turn yellow and for the pretty red berries to appear long before it happens. 🙂
DeleteTake your time Becki, it's normal to feel tired your body is having to handle a lot! just be kind to yourself and do things as and when you feel like it. I have lots of jobs to do in the garden my only excuse for not doing them is laziness, if it's cold I don't want to be out there. I love the blanket what a beeutiful pattern haha, thank you for the link I have saved it in my favourites. Take care! xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, Linda. I can't believe three weeks after I wrote the above post I am still working on building up my stamina!
DeleteSweet As Can Bee, love it. Great work and the color is wonderful. We all need to listen to our bodies Becki...but I can relate to what you talk about, I often say I don't have time to be sick! ♥3
ReplyDeleteOh, I know, Rain! I feel like I lost half a year. But there were good things in there too, and I must not forget that.
DeleteI am very behind in reading blogs. I love the colors of those bushes the mulberry tree is invading. How exciting to know you will be having fresh asparagus on your table next year. I see the honey comb in your knitting. Continue on your road to wellness. Hugs my friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Marsha!
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